OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES

 

Word prompt: Embarrassing

Anyone with any experience of a child of any age will most definitely understand the true meaning of embarrassing! I’m not talking ‘whoops, I just stumbled a little but remained on my feet’ embarrassing – I’m talking ‘HOLY MOLY MACARONI! Please let the ground open up and swallow me RIGHT NOW’ kind of embarrassing.

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Before having my little one, the most embarrassing thing I can recall happening to me was when I was about 23. I was a LOT slimmer and as a result, I felt pretty confident in myself. I had a full on job as a Relationship Manager and pranced about in my convertible company car thinking I was the bees knees (what a banana!).

Retro Girl In A Modern Car

Anyway, I was driving with the roof down to get a house key cut. A very simple task! I pulled up outside the key cutters where there happened to be builders working too. Applied my lippy and sunglasses then out of the car I stepped. I walked round to the passenger side, took out my handbag, shut the door and turned to strut into the shop then – WHACK – I walked STRAIGHT into a lamp post. I cannot tell you how painful my face was but the dent in my face was nothing like the pain of my dented ego. Add in the embarrassment after the builders chuckled then shouted ‘you alright, Luv?’ and I felt at least 4ft shorter! That brought me down a peg or two!!

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But that was then – things are far different today! My little boy has unashamedly put me in some VERY tricky situations. He’s only four – it’s all in total innocence and naivety and I know he would never mean to cause offence…. However, he doesn’t have any issues with embarrassing mummy!!
A few of his recent clangers included shouting at me to ‘look, mummy, look! That lady is SMALL!’ regarding a lady who was definitely in the 4ft height bracket. And then a very loud ‘Mummy….where is his hair??’ When passing a gentleman with a bald head. His next was shouting again when walking into a bar on holiday while a gentleman was singing on stage ‘Is that horrible singing mummy? Is it? Mummy? Is it???’
He also pointed to one gentleman who had perhaps not worn a brace when he was younger staying with conviction ‘Mummy! Look at them TEETH! (Or TEEFF for the actual pronunciation)! All these incidents led me to wonder if I had done something mean in a past life to have deserved such gut wrenching embarrassment! But it seems, even with these scenarios under his belt in no more than five days, he really hadn’t finished with embarrassing this mum of his! The real clincher came when on holiday, he saw a gentleman of the Sikh faith in the pool. He was with his adorable baby girl and wife and instead of wearing his turban, was wearing his more casual head scarf. My son, a mere four years old, sees this gentleman as we walk past them in the pool and shouts on the top of his lungs…. ‘MUMMY!!! PIRATE!!’

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The ground did NOT open up and swallow me that day regardless of my intense, silent prayers!!

In all the above instances I tried to either divert his attention by almost squealing an ‘oh look darling! Look at that tree!’ or in other instances a half whispered ‘I’m so sorry’ to the victim of his beautiful innocence.

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It’s fair to say, my son has ’embarrassing’ down to a fine art and I PROMISE you all that as he reaches his teenage years, I will totally revel in the opportunity of taking my revenge!
In his defence, I’m sure he gets it from his father who would often shout to me down the shopping aisle ‘BABE, WAS IT PILE CREAM OR PILE TABLETS YOU WANTED?’ simply to put me in another embarrassing situation!

Note to self: Never underestimate the prowess of a toddler when an embarrassing question pops into their head!!

Lots of Love,
Vicki
XxxxxX

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